Monday, February 13, 2012

Conversation From 10th Grade


            I hope this will be the dumbest thing you ever read. I can't really say much about it, other than that it's a truncated and reformatted conversation that I had with Max Berner in 10th grade over Facebook chat. I found it on my computer and thought it was weird enough to post. So, I don't know, enjoy? Most likely not. It's pretty bizarre.



A tidal wave at night
Surfing it are storage containers
Lit by tiki torches
And then balloons
Lots of balloons
The perfect storm meets Dog the Bounty Hunter
Probably gonna need a tiger fist
Only way it'll work
It all takes place at a Honda dealership
The logistics haven’t been worked out yet
Can the honda dealership actually be a dormant Decepticon?
yes
A dormant, Jewish Decepticon
With joint pain
A dormant, black decepticon with a Jewish mother and Muslim father
plot twist
He needs joint pain
Or short term memory loss
The Jew mom and Muslim dad,
Ethnically quasi-gallant
The worst part?
The wave is actually an enormous ambrosia salad
The carrots are worshippers of rib-eye steak
Which come from dinosaurs
And candy necklaces
Breaking the law is better than awkward conversations with your mother about sexuality
tru lyfe
Little does he know we are actually pterodactyls
Little did you know I spelled pterodactyls in one try
Mannequin firing squad with silly hats
And then they all learn Spanish
/Pigeon English ‘cause those are the two best languages outside of binary and british
In hopes of haggling with the craft vendor under the bleachers, for they really want to buy his fancy erasable pen
It isn't a normal erasable pen,
But a friction pen.
With the capability to turn friction on and off within a 2 mile radius (communist!)
Great for sledding
And spin art
Many Asian casualties
The neo-nazi mannequins are really just misunderstood and schizophrenic
Also a tad addicted to huffing magic marker vapors out of sacs made from bat wings
A concentration camp for people with ADD because they can't focus on one thing at a time. Very boring place.
Concentrate, Steve. Quit counting things, you weirdo. 
"I'm the one who does the deceiving around here! You think these are average tire enthusiasts, but they're actually cans of tuna!"
The mercury crisis begins. Vaccinations become treacherous to get. Doctors are put out of work, one by one by one by three.
Eventually, they decide it's necessary to form an army. They would fight for justice, and defend the weak. They called themselves The Weird, Crappy Robin Hoods, also known as D.O.G.Z.
Then an archangel came along named Cinnamon and politicized the concept of social Darwinism, subsequently emerging as a counterforce to the D.O.G.Z.
A battle erupted. The Weird Crappy Robin Hoods, with their vast knowledge of medicine and anatomy, immediately attacked their opponents by biting their ankles in a manner most similar to that of a silk worm.

The End