Tuesday, March 27, 2012


            With the end of spring break looming and school just hours away, I can safely say that for the first time I am excited to go back to school.  That’s not to say that my break wasn’t enjoyable.  I played a hearty amount of baseball and saw a few solid movies, most notably, 21 Jump Street and The Hunger Games (don’t worry, I read the book first).  Nevertheless, I’m ready to go back to school.
            With just a few weeks remaining in my senior year, I can’t help but start feeling a little nostalgic as I sit here at my computer.  Just 16 more days until my time at the Park School is over, and yet it seems like it was just yesterday that I walked through the front doors for the first time as 5’0” 100 lb ninth grader fresh from Krieger Schechter.
            High School certainly wasn’t easy.  Making friends took an immense effort, besides the every day drudgery of homework and athletics.  But I’ve made it, and come out with an experience that I will always cherish, for better and for worse.
            Besides being one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in months, 21 Jump Street takes a stab at nailing the overtly complicated social structure of high school students.  The movie opens showing Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum’s characters in the midst of their high school woes, both having to miss their senior prom; one wouldn’t be attending for lack of a date, while the other’s academic failures would be keeping him away from his last hoorah.  Luckily, the two of them get a second chance at senior year and then end up going to prom after all.
            For some reason I don’t see the occupation of undercover cop in my future so I think it’s safe to say that this will be my last chance to finish senior year the right way.  As Drake Bell would say, you only live once.  I plan on spending my last few weeks at school wisely.  My advice to my fellow seniors is to cherish this time together.  No matter what happens in these last 16 days, what is undoubtedly true is that these are our last together, as one.  I know I’d like to remember these days as some of my best, and I hope that others feel the same way.
            So tonight, when my dad asks me if I’m ready to go back to school tomorrow, I can honestly say yes, I am.  My classes are sure to be as boring as ever, and I’m not exactly looking forward to doing homework, but there’s something about being in school right now that feels right.  Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I’ll be right where I belong.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Dungeons and Dragons

            In my years I’ve been exposed to countless games.  I’ve played sports that you’ve never heard of and board games with names like “Quelf”.  I’ve played half a dozen varieties of poker, and hundreds of videogames.  I’ve played gaga and sheep and paintball, but there is one game that I’ve never played that I’ve always wanted to try.  Dungeons and Dragons.
            The telltale nerdy experience, D&D can be spotted in many a coming-of-age TV show or movie (see Freaks and Geeks).  Friends sit around a table, developing characters, going on quests, and slaying dragons.  For a reason I can’t quite explain, there is something quite appealing to me about sipping a coke, eating popcorn, and battling an army of dwarves.
            Nevertheless, I have yet to partake in a game of Dungeons and Dragons.  A Dungeons and Dragons club even exists at Park, and I’ve considered joining several times, but I never commit.  My friends can get away with playing Magic the Gathering and Skyrim, but for some reason D&D remains a taboo, social suicide, and I don’t understand why.
            So, I’ve made a pact with myself.  Over Spring Break, no matter what it takes, I will play Dungeons and Dragons.  I want to see what this game is all about, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to play.  Maybe I’m a nerd, or worse a geek, but I’m okay with that.  I’ve wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons for years, and now I’m finally ready to take that step.  I welcome anyone who cares to join me in what is sure to be memorable adventure.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Shit Jake Max Says

Alright, Jake. You’ve left me with no choice. Should have just written a damn post. Readers, here’s a list of quotes from your very own maxcommajake100% verbatim.

“That’s the noise I’d make if I was getting bukkaked.”

“It’s all about the condiments.”

“Dude, V-necks are in.”

“Dude, bowling food is bad except for those cinnamon pretzel things."

“Dude, that’s a sweet clock."

“Dude, I hate cutting, I just like geometry.”

“Dude, I am SO good at sewing, you don’t even understand.”

“Dude, I saw Alex Marion in the locker room—not to be gay—but he’s fucking ripped.”

“You gotta go with the Hawaiian pizza.”

“You gotta go to footlocker, they have like 18 varieties of laces.”

“People would find me more attractive if my ears were symmetrical.”

“If you play a slow song and it’s not Collide, I’ll cry.”

“So apparently we have 21 viewers from Latvia.”

“I’ve been playing Skyrim nonstop since I called you. I’m about to murder the emperor.”

“I’m failing big time. I did get my Smithing up to 70 though.”

“I fucked up…it smells so bad!!!!”

"Sue me."

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Commuter's Life

            Back in fifth grade, my parents dropped the massive bombshell that they would be removing me from the public school system. After an episode of high-pitched squealing I eventually acquiesced, and the search began for my new school. Through some rigorous process that I don’t remember, they decided to put me in Park.  
            Things were grooving for me at my new school. By the end of the first quarter, a few kids even knew my name. In general, the transition was relatively smooth. There was, however, one change that took me a while to acclimate to. My elementary school was 1.4 miles from my house; Park is 20. My friends think I live in Virginia. That means my morning commute time had increased by about 1,000% between 5th and 6th grade. And to an impatient middle-schooler, half an hour in the car every morning was torturous. I didn’t even get to sit in the front seat until 8th grade, when my sister graduated—not to mention my father’s questionable taste in Sirius XM stations.
            With maturity, I realized that not all was bad about living so far away. For starters, it meant I had one less thing to do for homework each night; nothing quite wakes you up like math homework at 7:20. There was also the conversation. I learned a lot, through simple osmosis, listening to my dad and sister talk. Occasionally I would even contribute, though only briefly so not to distract from my work.
            When I finally got my license last year, I expected the commute to be just like years past, except with me in the driver’s seat. But it got better, a lot better. One of the most gratifying perks of driving by yourself is the undisputed right to crank your music as loud as your ears desire. It’s by far the most underrated aspect of being licensed. Essentially I have a 30-minute party on my way to school each day, which is awesome. This is gonna sound stupid, but it gets me hyped for school. Thumping bass is my cure for sleeplessness.
            The music is good. It’s not the best part about the commute, though. I put this bit together long after it started affecting me, and it’s only become more obvious since. For my particular circumstances, the physical distance between my house and my school has seemed to have a direct correspondence with how involved my parents are in my school life. It sort of makes sense, logically thinking about proximity. Since they hardly even visit my school these days, why would they be thinking about it? I would almost describe it as having two lives. And only recently has my school life begun to spill into my home life, with friends finally agreeing to make the journey. It has given me a little dose of adulthood. Some of my friends who live close to school have parents that are not only invasive and prying, but even show up on campus every so often for the hell of it. Living 20 miles away almost assures that your parents won’t be meddling all the time. Despite rising gas prices, if given the opportunity to move closer to Park, I wouldn’t take it.