Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Game
            The blog was racking up views—no one could deny that.  It had only been 3 months and they’d already broken 10,000.  But that was the least of Jake’s concerns at this point.  Tonight was the first Friday night basketball game.
            Of course, Jake knew he probably wouldn’t play.  It was a miracle he even made the team in the first place.  Every year, the 12 best players in the school made the varsity basketball team.  This year, it was 13.
            So, there they stood, in the doorway that led to the main court.  The last few seconds ticked off the clock as JV secured their first victory of the season.  Both teams shook hands and finally, the music started to play out of the surround sound speakers.  It was quiet at first; they waited impatiently as the Green Lantern theme music crescendoed, and finally they burst onto the court in a flurry that was met by the cheers of a surprisingly eager fan-base for their tiny, progressive school.
            This was Jake’s favorite part of the game.  It always had been.  Warm-ups were the only time that he knew for sure he’d be on the court.  Everyone was watching as they went through layup lines.  All Jake was thinking was: don’t miss.  And tonight, for once, he didn’t—he made every single layup he took.  He even managed to put a few three-pointers through the bottom of the net in front of the home crowd, before they huddled up one more time, and the buzzer sounded for the game to begin.
            This particular game was relatively uneventful.  They were up by 12 or so in the fourth when the crowd started a chant that they’d never heard before.  “We want Jake!  We want Jake!”  He was almost shocked to hear the fans acknowledge his existence, despite the fact that he knew he’d done a great job filling up water cups and serving as the third assistant coach on the bench all game.
            The head coach, Jason, one of Jake’s mentors turned and smiled.  He pointed right at Jake—it was time.  He ripped off his warm-up jersey and took a knee by the scorer’s table.  The buzzer sounded once again and he walked onto the court.  The fans applauded Jason for actually putting Jake into the game.  The other team brought the ball up the court and Jake played defense like he’d never played before.  They missed a shot and Dylan grabbed the rebound.  He passed the outlet to Mike who charged down the court on the fast break.

Jake was waiting in the corner and Mike found him, open for three.  He caught the pass, squared up, jumped in the air, and released.  For a brief moment he thought it might actually go in.  Air ball.  The crowd groaned in disappointment.  A couple possessions later the final buzzer sounded, marking their first home victory of the season.  As they high-fived after the game, Jake gave Jason a sheepish grin.  He was ready to reassume his role on the bench for the following game.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Chapter 1

Today, I’m trying something new.  I’ve never written a story before, but I wrote this piece that I think might be the first in a series of semi-fictional posts loosely based on my life.  If you think it’s awful, please tell me.  If you love it, please tell me.  The same goes for anything in between.  If you’d like to keep seeing posts like this, I’d be more than happy to oblige.  Anyway, here goes nothing:

Chapter 1: Meet Jake

            Jake was still waiting for that growth spurt that he feared would never come.  Tomorrow was the first day of twelfth grade and he stood a proud 5’6”—5’7” with his size 8 ½ Timberland boots.  As a toddler he had bleach blond hair but now it was best described as just plain brown.  People always told him his eyes were bluish green, but he gave up on seeing colors years ago when his pediatrician kindly informed him that he was color shade deficient.[1]
Jake did pretty well in school, but not nearly as well as he could.  His parents called him a slacker; he preferred the term laid back.  If he spent half as much time studying as he did playing beer pong, then he’d be getting A’s instead of B’s.  Jake didn’t care about grades, though.  In fact, he didn’t really seem to care about much of anything.  While his peers fretted about tests and grades and college applications, all Jake was worried about was making the varsity basketball team.  He had plenty of time until tryouts, though.  So, on this particular day Jake had other things on his mind.
He and Dylan sat at Chipotle, where they ate at least three or four times a week.  This was no casual lunch, however; they had business to discuss.  Jake had an idea.  It was a long shot, for sure, but he thought it was worth a try.
“A blog?” Dylan asked, a confused look on his face.
Jake was unfazed.  “I’m not writing for the fucking newspaper.”
“So, I’m starting a blog,” Jake responded, as if it was obvious, “do you want in or not?”
Dylan looked at him skeptically for a few seconds and finally said, “Sure.”
That very evening, Jake published the first post.  It was called Student Parking Only.  He used that first fateful entry to take a few jabs at the mediocre reporting of the very school newspaper that denied him the coveted role of Editor in Chief, and present his peers with an alternative source of high school centered banter.  He then proceeded to flood Facebook and Twitter with the link to his new public forum for ranting.
That first night he got a few hundred page views.  A dozen likes.  4 comments.  1 share.  No retweets, unfortunately (he didn’t have all that many followers).  Nonetheless, word was getting out, and the school year hadn’t even started yet.
Dylan texted him around 11:30 P.M.  “This could be huge,” he said.
“I know,” Jake replied, with an implied cockiness that only he could achieve in so few words.

[1] Color shade deficiency is just a fancy term for color-blindness.

Monday, June 22, 2015

This One Seems Pretty Straightforward

I don't usually trust celebrities when it comes to political issues, but this one seems pretty straightforward. We need better gun control and we need it now. I think this video hits harder than anything I could write. It's everyone's job to spread this message, and I figured this was a pretty good place to start:

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I Miss The 90's

I'm certainly no music expert, but for all you nostalgic 90's kids, this playlist might pique your interest:

Monday, June 8, 2015

75,000 & Counting

When I started writing this blog, I was going into my senior year of high school.  Now, as my senior year at Emory imminently approaches, I find it hard to believe that it’s been four years.  A lot’s changed since then, but just as much hasn’t.  I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, but nevertheless, my time as a student is rapidly coming to an end.
75,000 hits sounds like a lot, but I honestly couldn’t tell you how many individuals have made their way onto Student Parking Only.  Some of my readers have been around since day one, many I’ve picked up along the way, and a handful have probably only visited my page once or twice.  I suppose, in the end, it’s all the same to me.  As long as someone is still willing to read my rants, I’ll keep writing them.
One question, however, is pressing: what happens in May?  Rest assured, I don’t plan to stop writing anytime soon, but the concept of Student Parking Only makes a lot less sense when I’m no longer a student.  So, barring any academic complications, I most likely will not still be writing this blog one year from now.  Perhaps I’ll find someone to replace me, or perhaps I’ll simply retire the website.
The notion of graduating from college is stressful enough in its own right, but I cannot even imagine what my life will be like without this blog.  Since 2011, this has been the one constant in my life.  I’ve written good posts; I’ve written awful posts.  I’ve written with excitement and joy; I’ve written with fury and depression.  I’ve written about sports, romance, education, politics and everything in between.  This blog has captured my peaks and troughs, my failures and my successes.
So, I have one year left to close out this journey, and admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve tried anything new.  At this point, I want to hear from you, the readers.  I want to hear honest opinions about what I do well, what I do poorly, and even what you’d like to see in the next 12 months.  If this blog has ever touched you, or angered you, or changed your perspective even once, I’d love to hear about it.

For the past four years, I’ve been writing this blog for me.  Now, let me write for you.  If you have an idea, an issue, a question, a qualm, please send it my way.  I know I’ve asked before, but if you’d like to write a guest post, now is the time.  Without readers, Student Parking Only wouldn’t mean anything.  My appreciation for all of you cannot be overstated.  Thanks for a wonderful four years, and here’s to one more.

Monday, June 1, 2015


This is a guest post by Michael Ginsburg that was originally published in the Spring of 2012:

Have you ever wondered what it meant when a girl adds that extra y on hey, or even two? Well, gentlemen, I’m here to explain that to you.

Extra letters added to words aren’t just how a girl talks to everyone. In fact, I have always ventured to say that they are an extremely flirtatious way of subtly saying, “I’m interested”. Not so subtle anymore, ladies.

If you’re texting or chatting a girl that constantly adds extra letters to her words, take the hint. These aren’t just annoying things that make you want to annunciate hereeeee and carry out the e sound until your lungs can no longer push out air. No, this is the best possible excessive, superfluous, unnecessary usage of letters.

The first, most important thing to look for is how she responds when you say hey. She has a plethora of words to use to respond, so know that she chooses very carefully.

Hello: Why are you talking to me?
Hi: Hi with one I, not a good sign.
Hii: Two I’s is always good, but not quite as good as the double y.
Hey: Friendly conversation.
Heyy: She’s interested.
(If she greets you in some other language, well, forget about it. E.g. Hola, Bonjour, etc..)

As the conversation continues keep your eyes peeled for those extra letters. They may be unintentional, but as she continues to add, your chances go up.

However, one thing you mustn’t do is add your own extra letters.  By now, it should hit you that your conversation last night with that girl wasn’t just a conversation, no. It was tons of extra y’s and e’s and a’s and t’s being thrown at your face pleading you to accept them. And yes, when you are bragging about all the extra letters a girl adds on a conversation, annunciate all of them when reading aloud.

P.S. Smiley faces make me feel like I’m talking to a third grade or my mother. No. No.