Sunday, January 5, 2014

Sex is just that, Sex

I'm sure many of you have read Sex is Sex (admittedly, one of my more infamous posts).  At that time, as a first semester freshman, I was troubled and perhaps even angry with the social structure that surrounded me. The phenomenon of frat guys walking out of Maggie's with freshman girls time and time again made me question not only my new peers' decision making but also my own approach to meeting new acquaintances.  I was dumbfounded by the seeming powers of large biceps, Greek letters, and generous drink budgets.

More importantly, I judged girls for swarming these guys. I failed to understand why talents like charming conversation and sarcastic humor that had served me well in the past were now considered second tier. Sure, I could go to the gym or rush a fraternity, but those things took months and for the time being I was shit out of luck. I had it stuck in my head that no sane girl would look at me, and for that reason exactly, they didn't.

What I had all wrong about college girls was that I assumed they acted like they were at Maggie's all the time. I didn't quite understand that after a few too many drinks at a less than exciting pregame, for many people (guys and girls), sex is really just sex. And when a girl is walking around the bar after seven tequila shots, I don't really blame them for tracking down the only guy with abs who will tolerate their giggling and high heel induced limp long enough to take them home. The truth is, the bar isn't the right place to forge any sort of meaningful relationship. I'd even venture to say that a guy is more likely to meet his future girlfriend in the library than dancing in a short skirt in a booth.

So I guess my advice to freshman guys is, don't go out Saturday night with the goal of finding your next girlfriend. Leave that task for the classroom, dining hall, or really anywhere else on campus. Going out is for having fun with friends, both old and new. A huge part of college is trying new things and taking risks. Surprisingly often that leads to the same conclusion: sex is just that, sex.