Slumber Parties

            How do you feel about overnight guests?  The question seemed trivial, almost laughable, while filling out the housing survey.  I’m pretty sure I chuckled and answered it with the most lenient option, “The more the merrier.”  On the other hand, when the situation actually arises, it becomes more complicated.

            For many of us, the notion of living with a roommate is still quite new.  Expected, is mutual respect, while both parties learn how to live with one another.  Simple things like sharing food, wakeup times, etc., are all nuances that roommates must discuss and work out overtime.

            So, this brings us to the topic at hand: sleepovers.  When are they okay?  In the context of a survey, some might be quick to answer.  Always or never or as long as you ask me first, all seem like legitimate answers.  But, I don’t think it’s that simple.  The circumstances and people involved can make a huge difference in whether a sleepover is acceptable, or rather an invasion of private space.

            Of course, there are many examples of when a sleepover is perfectly normal and okay.  A friend visiting from home, perhaps even a prospective student, is someone whom I would immediately welcome into my room, no questions asked.  Sometimes, however, it can become a little more fishy.

            Let’s say the guest is of the opposite gender.  I personally don’t have a problem with this, but there are undoubtedly many people who do.  While it’s easy to respond, “Ask me first,” on the housing survey, when your roommate comes back with a girl, the situation can be more difficult.  No one wants to be that guy who ruined their roommate’s night; so many times the answer will be, “sure,” even if they are uncomfortable with the situation.

            It can become even more confusing when the third party involved is someone that both roommates know.  When your roommate is in bed with a mutual friend, the level of awkwardness automatically raises a few levels.  A one-night stand, especially with a stranger, is less awkward because just as there’s no pressure for the two involved to see each other again, the roommate almost certainly won’t ever have to deal with the third party.

            Finally, throw alcohol into the picture, and you’ve got a whole different ballgame.  At this point in their lives, many are experimenting with drinking for the first time.  Alcohol truly can affect how you act and what decisions you make, and unfortunately, many people make decisions that they later regret.  It’s easy to apologize in the morning, saying, “Sorry, I was wasted,” but sometimes the damage has already been done.

            In the end, these are my words of advice.  Most times, I would simply coax you to use your judgment when making decisions that might have tangible consequences.  Here, I would argue, that it is your duty to put in extra thought and care with every choice you make.  Surrounded by new people, in new situations, with new risks, it is imperative that you think twice before making actions that you may regret.

CONTEST: The Moment

            My parents have been married for twenty-five years. They’ve had four kids together. For my whole life, I had always thought that they were an archetypical couple, a prime example of matrimony. Sure, they fight a lot, but so does any healthy couple. I maintained this image of them through 10^th grade, never once considering the possibility that perhaps there was more to their relationship than I could see. 

            Last summer, sometime during July, I was stuck at home with nothing to do. It was 95 degrees out, sweltering and humid. I had to get away. My friends and I made arrangements to go swimming at the club. We arrived at the pool and I immediately made my way to the locker room to change into my suit. The familiar scent of slightly-mildewed carpet engulfed me as I walked down the hall to find a secluded corner. Just as I was turning into an outcrop of lockers, I experienced a sight so foreign and bizarre to me that I became instantly paralyzed. There was my father, right in front of me, nude, and fully embraced by another man. Their limbs interconnected, their lips plastered to each other’s. What a strange encounter, I thought. I wonder why my dad is kissing this man. Does he owe him money?

            “Seth!” He said to me, entirely flustered. “Son, I—I have a confession.” I tilted my head, slightly confused.

            “What is it?” I asked.

            “Seth…please don’t hate me for this, but, I’m gay.” And that was the moment when I realized my dad was a terrible liar.




- S.

800,000

800,000: the approximate number of views that my YouTube videos have aggregated—a number well into the threshold of human incomprehensibility. It’s a statistic that has followed me, through my adolescence, without ever revealing itself in my physical life. Not because it isn’t a satisfying achievement, but because the videos that I produced were about a video game.

I was thirteen years old when I first broached the realm of virtual filmmaking. Using hardware that I had read about on a tech blog, I scrupulously crafted my pilot episode of Halo 3 Hiding Spots. It was a miserable flop. Though I had surely thought otherwise at the time, breaking onto the YouTube scene as a new user is an onerous undertaking. If no one is looking for you, no one is going to find you. I discovered that the most efficient way to make a name for myself was not to have consistent, high quality content, but to shamelessly publicize. So that’s what I did. I went on to every related video and every related channel and posted the following comment: “COOL VIDEO! You should check out mine.” It was a bait and reel; I caught them off-guard with a compliment, and while intoxicated with flattery, I snuck in a bit of subliminal advertizing. After just a few days, I could already tell my stunt was working.

Once I had established a core group of viewers, the daunting task of keeping them became my main focus. My videos were in a fairly unique niche of the Halo community. Most films of the game were simple exhibitions of skill. Conversely, the purpose of my videos were to demonstrate the areas of the game in which one could go to hide from the skilled players featured in the other videos. I was—and not to belittle a renowned historical figure—the Harriett Tubman of Halo.

Eventually, my infamy spilled over into the actual game. People would recognize my name from YouTube and scream emasculating remarks at me through their headset. I amassed a cult following, people that watched my videos and used my strategies. We made such a significant impact on the community that the company that developed the game had to implement mandates reprimanding those players who practiced my tactics. To a thirteen year old, that’s monumental.

Now, I’d like to return to that initial number of views. To think about it in terms of time is rather fascinating. I estimated that the average length of one my videos was close to four minutes. Let’s imagine, for exemplary purposes, that only one person could be viewing my videos at a time. In this hypothetical circumstance, it would take over 6 years for the video to be viewed 800,000 times.

This period of my life had come to a close before I had even entered high school. I stopped playing video games altogether by 10^th grade, and it was also by that time I decided to never let any of my friends unearth what I saw as a thoroughly embarrassing past. So I buried that fragment of my history, and it remained undisturbed for a long time—until I finally reached a level of self-confidence that trumped irrational anxiety of humiliation. Yeah, fuck that. I'm a nerd, what of it?

One of our more popular videos.

Let's Dance?

            Dances: the epitome of school sponsored social events you wish you never went to.  They can range from the boring, to the awkward, and on rare occasions to the moderately amusing.

            The makeup of a dance is always the same.  The underclassmen scatter around the outskirts of the dance floor.  Freshman boys can be found shooting a basketball, while sophomore guys complain to each other about how lame the dance is.  Meanwhile, the girls cling to their friends in groups of 3 or 4, dancing together in small circles.

            The segregated dynamic prevails until a few brave guys approach their female counterparts and ask them to dance; this step is pivotal in the development of the evening and often separates the mediocre dances from the lousy.  The key is for the gender barrier to be broken as early on in the dance as possible.  After this occurs, the door is open for the rest of their nervous peers to join in on the fun.

            For upperclassmen, the dance is a completely different story.  For juniors and seniors there are several keys to a successful dance experience.  First, people need to go.  If no one goes to the dance, then it simply will not be fun.  Upperclassmen provide the energy of the dance and without them dances will inevitably fail.  Second, there needs to be a good DJ.  No one, and I mean no one, wants to dance to shitty music.  Even if everything else goes right, a dance will always suck if the DJ is bad.

            Lastly, it is the duty of the seniors to bring life to the party.  If the seniors dance the night away, everyone else will follow suit.  No matter how bad the dance is it’s the seniors’ responsibility to make it fun for everyone.  Whether it’s by coming dressed in a theme, holding a dance-off, or requesting an awesome song, the seniors must set the tone for everyone else.

            So, for those of you in charge of planning homecoming, I implore you to keep these things in mind:

1.  More important than anything is a good DJ.
2.  Get people to come! If no one comes, the dance cannot and will not be fun.
3.  Have a theme-a good one.  Students (especially girls) love to dress up.
4.  Get the seniors on your side. Their leadership means everything.
5.  Provide refreshments.  Nothing fancy, but everyone enjoys a sip of soda or some chips throughout the night.

            Finally, if you’re going to a dance, be sure to come in with an open mind.  Sure, it’s more than likely that the DJ sucks, the theme is really dumb, or the girl you like isn’t coming.  But, the fact of the matter is that more than anything the dance depends on you.  Go crazy on the dance floor, be the life of the party.  A dance is only as good as you make it, so as long as you’re going, you might as well have some fun.