Just a brief disclaimer. I obviously know very little about happiness at
this point in my life. But I wanted to give it a try. Apologies, in advance,
for the cockiness.
Part one. There exist two kinds of people on this planet: those who think in
terms of the present, and those who think in terms of the future. You need to
be neither of those people. There are inherent flaws with both of those
mentalities. Those who concern themselves with only the present are often
associated with words like spontaneous and reckless. Humans have evolved into a
hyper-intelligent species because of our ability to plan and solve problems;
don’t suppress brain function out of principle. On the other end of the
spectrum, individuals who are dominated by dreams for the future are often
emotionally disabled and prone to stress.
Generally speaking, try not to
stubbornly associate yourself with any sort of exclusive mantra that confines
you to a single kind of lifestyle. I went through a brief period of my life
when I openly classified myself as a rationalist. I would treat decisions with
a cold and critical sternness, weighing the pros and cons extensively, and
making success an utmost priority. In practice, however, I was just kind of
annoying and difficult to deal with. I became bored with dwelling on each and
every choice.
In reality, people are complex
and dynamic, constantly evolving, and labels only act to inhibit change. If
there is ever a point in your life when you can describe yourself in one word,
then you need to start over.
Part
two. Happiness is perhaps the most subjective concept that humans struggle
with. Happiness in rural China is not the same as happiness in the suburbs of
Baltimore. Resist the urge to compare. You and your neighbor are not the same
person, and you and your neighbor do not have the same perspective on what
happy means. My proof for this is in the following clichéd ultimatum: would you
rather be rich doing something you hate, or be broke doing something you love?
People tend to swing both ways on this question; some believe money will grant
them happiness, and others do not. I could easily argue that wealth has the
potential to invoke some flavor of happiness in humans—not everyone, for sure,
but a hefty portion. And conversely, for many people, money isn’t necessary in
the equation. You must discover what makes you happy, and then pursue that,
whatever it may be.
Part
three. Excitement is an emotion that we have full control over. In other words,
it can be fabricated at will. I drive to school on Wednesdays, pumping my fist
to electronic dance music, because I know that the cafeteria is serving French
Fries. If you allow yourself to get excited about things most would consider
“insignificant”, then you are allowing yourself to subsequently achieve
happiness from those things. I was once told that in times when I am struggling
to muster the energy I need to persist, I should look to the future to an event
when I know I will be happy, and utilize that projected energy. It’s one part
mental trick and one part logical concept. Throughout elementary school, my
parents forced me to play baseball in a rec. league. I dreaded every single
Saturday morning of springtime in those years. What got me through it? My
parents would promise to buy me a new Transformers action figure after every
game. After a while, I started liking Saturday morning. I knew that once I got
through the bad, the good was right on the other side.
Part
four: Human relationships can be some of the most generous sources of happiness
as long as you have the right ones. I know that some of my friends might not be great
people, but I’m not going to pretend to have some sort of moral obligation to
not associate with those people. The truth is, I have fun with them, and that’s
what matters more than anything else to me, because I’ve made fun a priority
for my own personal happiness. If, instead, being ethical was one of my
priorities for happiness, I would have friends in accordance with that
principle. I suppose what I’m getting at is to, at a minimum, have a decent
explanation for your relationships. If I ask you, “Why are you friends with
that person?” and your answer is, “I don’t know,” then get rid of that friend.
Part
five. Nostalgia is the manifestation of old remnants of happiness. When you get
nostalgic, your brain is simply reminding you that you were happy back then. My
policy is to live with the intent of creating memories. I never want there to
be a month of my life that I have forgotten because nothing exciting happened.
Try new things, take new risks, whatever is necessary to make sure that by the
end you’ll have a story to tell.
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