Thursday, June 21, 2012

Shit Jake Max Says: Volume II

Another dose of Jake Maxisms, for your pleasure.






"Dude, I love putting wires and stuff together."


"Like if you swallowed a brick, you'd be a brick heavier."


"Let's just hot tub time machine all night long!"


"I gotta gel my hair, bro."


"I was fucking bumping and grinding on those hoes all night long."


"I just don't have enough nuggets for all these sauces."


"Phew. Rant over."


"I like people who like me."


"I mean, if I force her to eat, she will."


"Like fucking untying knots. I'm great at that shit."


"This is the perfect v-neck opportunity."


"The stone is human sexuality...duh."


"What does love even mean?"


"Oh sick, he does karate!"


"Dude, that's a sweet band name, 'Incognito'"


- "Dude I'm riding dirty!"
- "What does that mean?"
- "I don't know but I like it."


"Do you know how many studies have been done?"


"You should find all the glory holes in Maryland...and use them."


"Dude, Wayne brought a fuckin' snowball to one of our summer league games and just put it under his chair."


"This is new. Did Twitter get new?"


"Like no one is gonna look for your weird texts..."


"Actually, I might just go home and read my book."