The Extra Slow Play

            Anyone who reads this blog knows that I don’t go to the bar looking for a one night stand.  I don’t believe in the seek and destroy approach that a lot of guys take with them on nights out.  I hesitate to throw myself at a girl before I know a thing or two about her, and perhaps more importantly, before she knows a thing or two about me.  Herein lies the beauty of the extra slow play.

            What if I told you that there’s more to romance than abs and expensive drinks?  This is not to suggest that looking good or displaying generosity are unattractive qualities, rather, that they are merely a piece to the puzzle.  A strong jawline and a deep bank account will certainly get you somewhere, but perhaps not exactly where you want to go.

            The fundamental issue with trying to pick up girls at a bar is that the setting highlights a few qualities and marginalizes the rest.  I have no problem with buying a girl a drink; in fact, I very much enjoy doing so.  On the other hand, I’ve had very little success telling tipsy girls in high-heels about my blog.  At a bar, people look for a very narrow range of character.  I often find the constraints of this nightlife culture to be to my disadvantage.

            I’ve had far more success, romantically, using the extra slow play.  This technique is certainly not for everyone—it requires extreme patience and discipline.  The idea is that by building a relationship based on conversation, shared interests, and a basic friendly compatibility, you are much more likely to foster a fulfilling romance.  Pulling a hot girl at a bar is all well and good, but I don’t want to date someone based on the fact that they like tequila shots as much as I do or simply because they have blond hair.  Likewise, I’d rather not have a girl pass her final judgment on me after one night of drinks and empty conversation.

            So, when I meet a girl at a bar whom I’m genuinely interested in, I tend to run the other way.  I buy her a drink, we have a nice chat, and if I really like her, I wish her goodnight.  Sometimes I see a text from her an hour later.  Sometimes I see her walk out with another guy.  Sometimes I never see her again.  Nevertheless, the ones who are worth it always seem to come back for more, and that is the beauty of the extra slow play.